Unschooling Leads to “Ungraduation”

Aly graduated from high school at the end of May. I thought I was prepared for the process to be a bit more difficult and significantly different than the standard high school graduation, but apparently, I wasn’t.

High school graduation is probably the first big milestone in a young American’s life. For some, it remains a defining moment in their life achievements. For others, it’s a happy memory, but not very important in the grand scheme of things. My own thoughts on the matter are further expressed in this article. I should have remembered this when it came time to prepare for Aly’s graduation. She seems to have other things on her mind. And, if one participates in student-directed learning, one should be prepared for student-directed matriculation.

I planned to hold a combined ceremony and celebration with friends, possibly even some family. It would definitely be out of the ordinary. In an unschooling class of one, there’d be no hesitation step march down the aisle, no band, no valedictory speeches, no dignitaries. Still, I hoped for as much pomp as circumstance would allow.

Aly was having none of it. I’d thought she’d soften up after watching her Haines High School friends graduate, but no. She’d asked for a small party with friends, probably at the park in town, but then she decided to defer that for a birthday party along the same lines after she returned from her upcoming 6-week archaeological field school in Canada.

Perhaps she’s learned the lessons of unschooling too well. She believes, as we do, that learning is a lifelong avocation, so receiving a high school diploma is more a bureaucratic detail than a milestone. She’s happy to have it, as it’s a requirement to get her into college, but that’s about it.

And yet, one day she may look back on this with regret. She may wish she’d taken more time to savor her triumph. Also, darn it all, some traditions must be preserved, and as parents, Michelle and I deserve an hour or so of weepy pride and nostalgic reflection.

We created a graduation announcement, as opposed to invitation, which allowed us to keep the date flexible. We began mailing them as time permitted between packing for the field school and applying for more scholarships. We dated the diploma May 31st, but presented it a few days early. Michelle knitted Aly a graduation tam like the kind the dons wear at Ivy league colleges—far more practical headgear than a mortarboard. Michelle and Aly made a tassel to attach to it.

We held a brief ceremony in which we presented Aly with her homemade diploma (as allowed by state law) and she shifted the tassel from one side to the other. We had no Edward Elgar to play on the stereo (although it occurs to me we do have Pomp and Circumstance on Disney’s Fantasia 2000 DVD . . . ) but it was good enough.

Incidentally, anyone who might be tempted to dismiss this as family play acting rather than a legitimate, official high school graduation may want to read my other posts in the “homeschooling” category. Aly has been schooled within the boundaries of Alaska state law, has passed the state high school qualifying exams, scored high on standardized tests including SAT subject tests, has been accepted to the college of her choice, and has received academic achievement scholarships from the college and other organizations. We may be having fun, but this is serious business.

For the expanded story on Aly’s graduation and more photos of the ceremony, go to AKZeigers.com.

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Mark Zeiger is a regular contributor to Self Reliance Works. He and his family homestead off the grid in Southeast Alaska. You can trace Aly’s unschooling career in more detail at AKZeigers.com.